Worthless
by Hollywing
Summary: After my trainer released me, I had no reason to keep living in this world, no use in life. I was worthless. Worthless to everyone. Except her. Espeon x Umbreon One-Shot. Written from Umbreon's POV.


**Okayz...I just wrote this little fic entirely out of boredom, and it's kind of like a suicide fic :D**

**The shipping is Nightlightshipping (Espeon x Umbreon)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Cold.

Dark.

Alone.

I'd never felt like this before. The chilling north wind ruffled my thick black fur as I wandered endlessly, with nowhere to go. I'd always had everything I wanted…food, a home, a trainer. I can't say he cared for me, but every time he lashed out at me, I knew I deserved it. I lost every battle I fought because I just wasn't good enough. But now it's all gone. I'm stupid, pathetic and ungrateful for all the effort others put in me.

I am worthless.

Why am I thinking these things? A soft voice spoke in my head. Am I just trying to make yourself end your misery?

Maybe, I replied to that annoying voice… I hated myself for that battle against that bratty pink cat…the Espeon. Sure, we both evolve from the same Pokémon, but we are nothing alike-I am the moon, she is the sun. I'm darkness while she is light. I, being a Dark type, can supposedly defeat her, a Psychic type, without any stress, and I thought I could barely lift a paw to overpower her.

…But I was wrong.

Her trainer…who was also my trainer's rival…had taught her such powerful moves that even I was astounded. Before I could catch on to my commands, an Iron Tail had slammed into my back; even now I could feel the pain of bones cracking and the icy cold touch of the glowing metal. She dodged all my Shadow Balls with amazing grace and speed. I tried to counter with a Bite attack while she was close, but only to find that she'd disappeared altogether in the clouds of sand. Only when I saw the hole in the ground had I realized what was up, but by then it was too late. She sprung beneath me, and then all became black as I drifted into unconsciousness.

Finally I woke up. I wasn't in the Pokémon Center. There was harsh sunlight blazing in my eyes, and I realized that I was outside, away from our campsite. My trainer faced me with cold blue eyes, flipped his night-dark hair, and spat,

"Weakling. You let a Psychic type beat you? Get out of here. You're worthless," and began to walk away without looking back.

My blood-red eyes softened, and began to well with tears. He was leaving me? I'd grown to trust him so much, after all the battles we fought, the journey we had, he was going to abort my training and release me? I opened my mouth to call out to him, but before I could breathe a word, he shouted over his shoulder; "It's over! I don't want to see you again! Losing to an Espeon, huh!"

After that fateful experience, I'd been wandering around helplessly, and there was barely anything I could do. I didn't know how to survive in the wild, I was still very young. Once it became true, I realized 

that the wild was actually the most boring thing on earth. Eat, sleep, sleep, eat, scratch, turn over, sleep some more. I missed my trainer, traveling, and the battles. I couldn't take it anymore.

I needed to end this.

Now.

Forever.

I bent down, again feeling the pain in my cramped legs, and pointed out where the ache was greatest. Ah, by my chest. Hopefully this would do it.

I unsheathed long, razor-sharp claws and began to draw them across my upper body, making sure that the scars dug deep and drew blood. I felt with satisfaction the warm blood oozing down my body, and the feeling like a hundred needles piercing my skin.

But it wasn't enough. I needed more.

My mouth opened and clamped hard on my left foreleg. I scratched myself over and over with my fangs, and ripped off some of the fur. I let out a loud screech as the pain hit me all at once, and blood splattered the ground with scarlet droplets.

I stood up unsteadily, welcoming the soreness throbbing through my skinny body. _Why aren't I dying?_ I asked myself. My eyes strayed away from the pool of blood I was placed in and locked on the cliff.

Yes, the cliff…

At its bottom were thorns of stone jutting out, and anybody who fell had no hope to live. And it was the perfect solution…

Ignoring the hurt this time, I headed straight for the precipice. My bloodstained fur was slicked back, which made me somewhat faster. I raced for the drop, ready to feel the rocks puncturing my lungs and organs…

"Umbreon! What in Azelf's name are you doing?!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, whirled around- and there she was. Espeon. Looking more beautiful and stronger than I'd ever seen her. Her navy blue eyes were round with shock, and her velvet lavender fur sparkled in the moonlight.

"What are you doing? You shouldn't be so close to the cliff," she scolded me, trying to pull me away. "You could kill yourself if you fall off!"

I smirked, despite my 'condition.' "Oh, gee, what do you think I'm trying to do, Little Miss Smart-Aleck?"

Her eyes grew even wider, and her pupils seemed to shrink as she crouched and drew in a breath. "No way…Umbreon…you aren't…" She crawled closer, her mouth gaping.

Rage seemed to build up inside me. She was the one who brought this on me. It was all her fault, and she was probably in shock with joy, because now her rival was going to die before her very eyes. Lucky her.

"Get out of here, Espeon," I narrowed my eyes, seeing her flinch. "This has nothing to do with you." A lie. This had everything to do with her. His suicidal madness had everything to do with her. I lifted one leg to step off the rock and into the abyss.

"But…Umbreon…" she managed to breathe, looking straight at me, somewhat scared. "Don't do this. Don't die."

"I want to die!" I just screamed out with fury, and I was surprised that an Ursaring didn't come to shut me up. Real tears seemed to spring in my eyes as I turned away from her. "I'm done with this damn world and all the hate and misery that all comes to_ me_!" I turned and bared my teeth at her, forcing her to see the bloodstains up close.

But she wasn't frightened. She didn't run off. Instead, she calmed herself, and her voice spoke one word, "Why?"

I glared at her, wanting to rip off that peaceful look off her face. Huh, she was asking why. As if she didn't know. "I'll tell you why," I seethed, "It's because a certain Espeon beat me in a battle, and my trainer released me. I'm homeless, hungry, and weak. Not to mention…I'm worthless now." My temple pulsed and I silently dared her to speak.

She seemed to be taking this in slowly. Her eyes were shadowed as she looked down. I thought about taking her awkward silence as a cue to make a run for the cliff, but something held me back. Somewhere in my mind, I knew there was a reason she didn't want me to die. A better reason than just doing a daily good deed. I decided to stay in the world for a few minutes to find out what she wanted to say.

"…I'm sorry," She said finally, looking up. I stepped forward as she padded over and licked my shoulder in what seemed like respect, but something more. "I'm really sorry for what I put you through…Please, please, please don't kill yourself, Umbreon…"

I met her eyes, and after we stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, I said, "Too late."

Dashing for the crag, I shut my eyes and prepared myself to meet the suffering…

But instead of feeling rocks end my life once and for all, I felt myself crashing into soft velvet fur, and when I could see, I found myself looking into crystal blue eyes and the scent of Bitter-Sweet Poffins wreathed around me.

Espeon was blocking the way.

"Move aside," I grunted, my face still buried in her fur. The Poffin-smell was making me woozy, and I was getting annoyed at her attempts to stop me.

"No."

"Espeon, get out of the way!" I knew I could easily bite her and she would move, but I didn't want to hurt her for some reason. I pushed her but she wouldn't budge. _Stubborn…_ I glanced down at her slender paws and wondered how they could keep such a good grip, before summoning the most venom I could and concentrating on putting it all in my scowl.

"I'm not moving form this spot until you promise me that you will never go near this again and you will stop with this suicide thing!"

"Never!"

"You better, Umbreon…"

"Make me!"

"…What?"

"Make me stop trying to kill myself!"

"I am trying!"

"Well, you can't!"

"Make you stop being crazy? Then make me stop being in love with you!"

…I froze upon hearing those words.

"W-what did you say?"

Espeon stood there, taking in what she said, and then a single tear slipping down her cheek. "…I love you, Umbreon…please don't die…I can't live without you…"

I was speechless as I stared at the sobbing purple feline. A warm feeling rose up inside me. Was it pity? Worry? Sadness? I was still trying to make out words as she pressed her cheek against mine.

I stared, unable to speak or act. Did she really…? Do I…?

I stepped back some distance away from her, knowing what I was about to do…I headed straight for the cliff, running at the speed of sound.

"Umbreon…! No…!"

At the last minute, when I seemed to be on its verge, I steered straight away from the edge… ran sideways…

…And pressed my muzzle against hers.

"I love you too…" I murmured, licking her ear and walking away from the precipice. I was worthless in my trainer's eyes, but I would always be worth something to her. And that was too good to waste.


End file.
